Saturday, May 26, 2012

“I'm not just living life, I'm surviving"

If I can get through next week while still maintaining my sanity, I'm fairly certain I can do anything.

Currently I am in class for a total of 23 hours.  After this week, I will drop 12 of those hours because of the two block classes that I have.  On top of that, because of my Advanced Research and Writing class, I'll drop at least 18 hours of researching, writing and rewriting, writing note cards, studying proper MLA formatting, and pouring over plays and poems again and again all week.  I can't wait until this next week is over.  I am going to celebrate with a weekend free of work spent eating Big Jud's, spelunking in the caves, jumping off of sand dunes.  It is going to be seriously awesome.

This has been the most challenging semester of my college career.  I don't have straight A's like I hoped, but I have successfully written several papers, read some fantastic short stories, and made some delicious treats.  An added bonus: I have money in the bank.  Hurray for working while going to school!  I'm thoroughly loving my job.

I would write more, but I'm running out the door to go to work...

Tuesday, May 1, 2012

"I won't always love what I'll never have"

Today I am twenty-three.

It feels weird to say that I'm twenty-three, since it sounds so adult.  However, I don't feel like I'm that old.  I still feel like an eighteen year old kid.  At the same time, I can look back on what I've accomplished in the past year and I think I've gone leaps and bounds.  Twenty-two was a surprisingly good year.  I think twenty-three will give it a run for it's money.

Here's to another year of adulthood!

Sunday, April 22, 2012

“Personally, I'm always ready to learn, although I do not always like being taught"

It's official: I'm weird.

This weekend I've been musing on the fact that I have a rough draft due tomorrow for my advanced writing class.  I have to pick a poem-any poem, the options are endless-and then find other critiques on it, then disagree with those critiques and then write a paper on that with a new, fresh, never before written take on the poem.  That, ladies and gentlemen, is a huge task.  Granted, the draft is only 1-2 pages of the paper, not a draft of the whole paper... but it's still a big assignment, especially considering I'm a poetry nut and I am so indecisive with picking the poem.  

What does this paper have to do with my weirdness?  I am excited about writing this paper.  It presents a huge challenge and I am through the roof excited to take it on.  I love writing, I've discovered that I love writing papers about literature.  I love it all.  I'm definitely meant to be an English major.  

Hurray for weirdness!

Also, thanks for the prayers and love, everyone.  I've been filled with comfort and I know my mother appreciates all the love and help that our family has received.  She is doing well...I spoke to her yesterday!  Things are looking up.  

Thursday, April 12, 2012

"All that I am, or hope to be, I owe to my angel mother."

This has been a hard week.

I have a very strong attachment to my mother.  She is the one person who has always been there for me without fail.  She's helped my in my most dire situations, comforted me in my most heartbroken moments, and laughed with me about the silliest things.  Despite her frailty, she is my rock.  She always has the soundest advice and can see situations clearly when I'm too caught up in them.  She is the reason I love cooking.  She's the reason I love reading.  She is the reason I love the Gospel so much.  I was raised by her to embrace those things.  Without her, I wouldn't be the kind of woman I am today.

As the years have passed, her condition has further weakened her, causing my heart to ache.  While I took two years off of school, I value those years greatly, since I was home and able to help her all the time.  It was hard and frustrating at times, but now that I'm living fourteen hours away, I'm glad I spent that time at home.

But still, my heart aches to be home.  It's spring break but I've chosen to remain in Rexburg to work and save money.  On Monday my mother suffered a minor stroke, leaving her speech slurred and the mobility of her right side limited.  I feel helpless this far away.  I feel alone.  I feel distraught that I'm not able to offer any sort of aid, that I chose to stay here when I had the opportunity to be in California at her side.  She has been there for me whenever I've needed her, but I feel unable to be there for her.

I've been to the temple numerous times, I've fasted, I've poured my heart out in prayer.  That's the best I can do.  The Lord knows what He's doing.


Photo credit: Miriam  
I stole this from your flickr account.  I'd say sorry, but I'm not.  I love this photo.

Saturday, March 31, 2012

"We have heard enough truth and direction in this conference to bring us into the presence of God if we would follow it."

I'm just about to head out the door for work.  I'm bummed, not because I don't get to sleep all day on Saturday, but because I'm going to miss the last half hour of the first session of Conference and also the whole second session.

I don't know if there are words for how grateful I am to be a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.  I'm grateful to be old enough to appreciate Conference and the blessing it is.  Although I was distraught at the idea of speaking in church last Sunday, I'm glad I was assigned the topic of preparing and participating in Conference.  I have a rejuvenated desire to really be involved in Conference.  I love it.  I love the words spoken and I feel as though I've had question answered and have received comfort even from the first few talks.

General Conference is a huge blessing.  It's our King Benjamin Moment.  The Lord is speaking to us directly.

Tune in and participate today and tomorrow.

Thursday, March 29, 2012

“Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity”

There has been a series of fortunate events in my life these past few weeks.

First of all, I got the job.  I've been working at Subway for about three weeks now and I perpetually smell like  sandwich.  It's a small price to pay, considering I rock that job.  It's fantastic, it fills my free time, and it brings in some pay.  As a poor college student, having any source of income is much appreciated.

Secondly, because I got a job, I turned my search for a car into the real deal.  I made a few phone calls, inspected a car, took it to a mechanic for a better inspection, then bought it.  It feels so grown up, you have no idea.  The car is a '93 Nissan Altima and it needs a little bit of work.  It works well, though, and the price was good for what it needs.  Kelly helped me name him Jetson because of his automatic seatbelts (that only work on the passenger side.)  He's already paid off, I don't need to worry about car payments.  The car insurance I got is such a deal, I was stoked.  I had already gotten quotes from five other agencies, so I almost didn't called them, but I figured I'd do it.  I saved myself over $20 every month.  YEAH!

Next semester I've decided to switch apartments.  It was a sudden decision, sparked by my friend Mariah.  We're not moving very, far, just a building over, but we're excited.  The original plan was to move in together, but we waited too long to make the decision and ended up without the option of moving into the same apartments.  We've settled on being neighbors again, which is alright with me.  I'm mostly just excited for something new, a new ward, and new friends.

Also, I'm excited about spring.  Last weekend it was gorgeous out, so we packed up our blankets and sandwiches and went to the park.  We played bochee ball, frisbee, and most people tried out Kelly's unicycle.  That weekend was a complete tease.  This whole week has been nothing but rainy, windy, and cold days.  I'm so anxious for some sunshine and shorts weather.

But still, life is good.  I love everything right now.

Monday, March 5, 2012

“When the music changes, so does the dance”

I love music and I love working out.  Here are a few of my favorite pandora stations to listen to while at the gym:

  • Hey Monday
  • Marianas Trench
  • Panic at the Disco
  • Rilo Kiley
  • Neon Trees
  • Basshunter (occasionally) 

As of lately both Hey Monday and Marianas Trench have been my go-to stations.  Love 'em.  

In other news, it's almost Spring.  Shmems and I saw a butterfly on our way home from the gym today.  It was a wonderful sign on a gorgeous day.  I'm getting pretty excited for warm weather activities, including laying out, naps at the park, floating the rivers, and goofing off at Rigby Lake.  Do things get better at BYUI than Spring semester?  I'm pretty sure they don't.